2025, April.

The night my son turned one month old, my husband asked me – ano na-realize mo ngayon na may anak na tayo? I wasn’t able to answer right away. I just told him, jokingly (or not), “parang ayoko na mag-anak ulit” I originally wanted to have at least 4 children. I want a big family. But after all the hardships of having to recover while nursing a newborn, I realized it was so difficult and I feel like I don’t want to go through it again. I don’t miss being pregnant.

But now that I think about it, I realize that men and women are never equal. We will never be equal.

As much as I appreciate the progress we are making in an attempt to give men and women equal rights and opportunities, men and women are never equal. In fact, we are not made to be equal. Physiologically. Emotionally.

Some people will argue (for sure), but that’s what I feel. Some people will disagree, and I respect that – we have our own experiences and thought processes, and I respect our similarities and differences. But as a new mom, that’s what I feel.

It’s hard to be a mom. That alone will justify what I meant.

I carried our son for 9 months.
My body underwent different changes.
My hormones are all over the place.
I labored for 4 hours.
I had a C-section.
I can’t get in and out of bed without pain for a week.
I am breastfeeding.
I literally can’t get out of the house for more than 2 hours.
– because our baby depends on me and my breastmilk.
My body will never be the same as pre-pregnancy.
I will never be the same.

Don’t get me wrong. My husband is a responsible man. He takes really good care of me and our son. I would never survive the 9 months of pregnancy without his help. But man, to be a mom!

If anything, April made me appreciate my mom more and respect all the mothers out there. It wasn’t an easy job, for sure. From my recovery from my c-section, to nipple soreness from breastfeeding, emotional stress, down to my frustrations from breastfeeding, and just all the physical and emotional pains I have to go through as a new mom – April was surely one hell of a month. I even didn’t give a damn about my birthday last April 3rd because I was so overwhelmed with all my mom duties and responsibilities.

Okay. We’re done with ranting. I have come to appreciate all the things I (and my body) can do. And to be honest, seeing my son settled (and full) makes my heart and super-tired body very, very happy. So why complain? LOL.

Anyway, here are the other tiny teeny details I want to share from my April.

Our son turned one month old!

Can you imagine??? Just like that, and that’s one month already! It feels like forever, but also feels like I just blinked and he’s not so tiny anymore. We spent the night in Okada with my family and ate a good steak for his one-month celebration (my request since I wasn’t allowed to eat medium rare steak the whole pregnancy!)

We also had a simple celebration at home with his dad’s side of the family.

My husband gifted me my *dream* camera.

I’ve been eyeing this camera for a few months already, but since I was about to give birth, I couldn’t get around into deciding whether it’s worth buying. Also, I still have my Fujifilm X-A5 (which I wasn’t able to fully utilize, tbh), so my husband wasn’t really in favor of me getting a new camera.

But just look at him – he bought it for me as a birthday and a push present. I was really surprised when he gave me this!!

My Mama stayed with us for a few weeks, making our lives easier. Super grateful!

Although I have to be honest, we sometimes don’t see eye to eye, as some of her parenting techniques are super outdated. LOL. But I don’t mind, I still want her around. 🙂 My Mama helps me with my son, she takes care of me – I feel super loved.

I grew up with my grandma (mama’s mom), and I also want my son to be close to my Mama. Iba talaga ang alagang lola.