Reminder to self: fed is best.

Today, we introduced formula milk to our 2 month old baby.

I don’t know what to feel – relief, sadness, disappointment, assurance. Is this the best thing to do?

Just a little context – I exclusively pump. It is my dream to exclusively feed my son breastmilk. Currently, I can produce 4-5 oz of milk every pump, 6 oz if lucky (aka when I am well-rested, well-hydrated, in the perfect scenario). It’s enough for my son, until it wasn’t. Recently, he demands more – still crying even after finishing 5 oz of milk, or crying just after an hour of feeding. Obviously, my milk cannot keep up. And so we decided to supplement him with formula milk.

Not to be overly dramatic, but I am kind of disappointed with myself. MOM GUILT IS REAL – not producing enough for your baby, introducing formula milk too early, etc etc. Not to mention the worry that comes with it – mahihiyang ba siya, baka mag-diarrhea, baka magka-allergy, etc etc.

I know a lot of moms, personally and online, who formula feed and/or mix feed their babies, and their babies are fine. So I am not really attacking the idea of giving my son formula milk. I guess it’s more about not meeting the expectations I set for myself, my pride, and just about not being the only person who can provide my son with what he needs.

I am sure I’ll get over this. But I just want to immortalize this chapter in my motherhood.

This is not a good feeling but I know that this is what’s best for my son. So yes, I will get over this.