The Pain of Motherhood: My first seven days as a first-time-mom.

March 31, 2025 – A supposedly simple routine IE check-up turned out to be the day I finally brought my son into this world.

Habang papalapit na yung due date ko, our routine check ups look like this – IE and/or ultrasound on Mondays, and check up with my OBGYN on Thursdays. Last IE sakin ng OBGYN ko, I was 4 cm posteriorly dilated so nakaabang na talaga kami with the progress. We were expecting to deliver the baby on Thursday, April 3, but to our surprise, I was already 6 cm dilated when we did our Monday IEs.

Everything happened so quickly, literally. I was in the labor room just for my IE by 9 am and the next thing I know, kinuha na lahat ng alahas na suot ko, even my phone. Nawalan na ko ng communication from the outside world. They gave me my hospital robe, scheduled me for an enema, hooked me in a machine (fetal heart monitor), and prepared my IV insert. My OBGYN arrived in the room and said to her residents, “Dapat by lunch time, baby out na” I was so shocked I wasn’t even able to say goodbye to my husband, who was outside the labor room, as appalled as I am for sure, for what’s about to happen. I was eating my drive-thru McDo sandwich just before coming into the hospital, and the next time we see each other, we will already have a baby!

It’s nothing like the movies or what I imagined it to be – yung maglalabor ako sa room with my husband, or with my family, doing all the breathing techniques, etc. What happened to me was, nag-labor ako magisa sa labor room, together with all soon-to-be parents, and when I was dilated enough, I was then transferred to the delivery room.

I don’t have to tell you how it feels like to give birth – you can read about that in books and all over the internet. I want to tell you what happens after giving birth, though.

I gave birth to my son at 2:47 PM via C/Section, 4 hours after labor (!!!). For the last 8-9 months, we were sure that I would have a normal delivery – the baby was in the right position, all my labs were normal, my stats were normal, etc. But then I was stuck at 7 cm and didn’t progress. Even when I was in the delivery room and everyone was ready to cut, my OBGYN waited for the last time if magpprogress ako sa 7 cm. But I didn’t.

My husband was there the whole time I was being operated on. Super grateful ako sa OBGYN ko when she said, “Make sure nandito ang asawa before I start” Hindi ko alam kung perks yun for having your OBGYN as a friend or because she’s quite powerful in the hospital. But hubbs was able to be there with me the whole time. He cut our son’s cord and was able to record nung lumabas si baby. So grateful!

Expectedly, the whole thing was a blur. Hindi ko alam gano nila ako katagal inoperahan or whatever happened behind those linens. But I remember crying nung narinig ko yung OBGYN ko, “Rainne, grabe ito na siyaaaa” Naiyak talaga ako and I saw my husband looking at me. Mas naiyak ako. Kaya pala di na nag-progress sa 7cm eh napakahaba naman pala netong batang ‘to.

Grabe, I have no words! When I saw my son, literally blank ako. Maybe because of the anesthesia, but I didn’t know what I felt when I saw him. Ito na siya? The little human I was raising for the last 9 months? Grabe, nice to meet you! I am your mom!!!

I am a mom!! A MOM!!!!!!!!!

His pedia told me he needed to stay in the NICU for some observation – something to do with his temperature and his breathing. Hindi ko na naintindihan, to be honest, but I remembered asking, “Is he stable?” She said yes, and so I said okay. Thank God, I was told later on, na nag-adjust naman yung temperature niya after a while so nalabas din siya sa NICU agad agad. Shortly after I was transferred to the recovery room, he joined me nadin.

The Aftermath.

The pain of giving birth is expected, right? Given na yun. But ghooooorl, what I’ve been through after giving birth was muuuuuuuuch worse than what I had to go through during labor!!!!!!

To say that I am in my most vulnerable state is The Understatement of 2025!

1. The pain after the anesthesia wears off. I cannot get out of bed without pain and help, I cannot walk; I cannot move; I cannot even change my sleeping position. I am not even kidding when I say na umiiyak ako habang papunta ako ng CR to pee because (1) ANG SAKIT LUMAKAD, and (2) ANG DAMING BESES NANG NANGYARI SA 2 DAYS NA NAKA-CONFINE AKO NA DI NA KO UMABOT SA CR BECAUSE ANG BAGAL KO LUMAKAD AT SOBRANG IN PAIN AKO. Even just the process of pagbangon sa kama would take me 3 minutes, another 2 minutes siguro sa pagbaba ng kama, another 2 minutes para magkaron ng courage to walk, and 5 minutes to walk from my hospital bed to the CR. By the time I reached the CR, I already peed myself.
   
   Grabe din talaga yung pagaalaga ng asawa ko sakin. Imagine, in our 30s, na-experience ko na suotan ng diaper at underwear ng asawa ko???? He saw me peed myself on my way to the comfort room!! Imagine kung anong nagawa nun sa ego ko! I am the type na hindi nagpapatalo and beg, but gosh this experience humbled me to the 1000000th power!!
   
2. The pain of not being able to do things for your little one. So I am in pain and I have a looot of things I cannot do because of this pain. Ni hindi ko mabuhat yung anak ko to breastfeed him. It was soooo frustrating having the need to wake up my exhausted husband para lang abutin yung anak ko na literally inches away from me!
   
   And let’s talk about breastfeeding. NO ONE EVER TOLD ME THE PAIN OF BREASTFEEDING YOUR LITTLE ONE. I swear, masyado nating ninormalize yung breastfeeding na para bang lahat ng babae eh kaya mag-breastfeed. because to tell you the truth, I was struggling to breastfeed my baby nung mga unang araw niya! Wala naman nagsabi na sa mga unang araw mo, possible na wala pang gatas na lumabas, or hindi pa marunong mag-latch si baby, or di mo pa alam kung anong position yung needed to breastfeed him properly. While it’s good that we are embracing breastfeeding, nagkulang tayo sa disclaimer na breastfeeding is not going to be easy at first. You need to learn it – it’s a skill more than a superpower.
   
3. The pain of wanting to rest. And with breastfeeding comes the sleepless nights. Apparently, newborns need to be fed every 2-3 hours. Kahit tulog sila, you need to wake them to feed. They feed so little that they need to be fed so frequently.
   
   Natatandaan ko our first 3 days after being discharged, grabe yung emotions namin ni hubbs – inis, pagod, puyat, cluelessness bakit umiiyak si baby. Not to mention the mom guilt na baka hindi ko siya naffeed ng maayos. We didn’t have househelp, wala kaming yaya, it’s just the two of us handling everything all at once. First time parents figuring out everything from scratch. We were really struggling.

But you know what? I am really grateful for everything. The ups and downs of parenthood. I am not gonna lie, mahirap padin until now, a lot of things we still need to figure out, pero seeing my son sleeping, he’s got everything he needs, kahit na palpak pa kami most of the time as parents, I am really grateful na naitatawid namin araw araw ng asawa ko.

The best feeling is knowing that my son has a great father. Madami akong fears and uncertainties, sa future, sa pagpapalaki ng anak ko, but knowing that I have a great man and partner makes it all better. Mahirap maging nanay, pero naisip ko din na mahirap maging tatay kung mahina yung nanay. And I have my own fairshare of weaknesses for the last couple of days, and si S ang nagpapakatatag for us.

If anything, S keeps me going. He makes me want to be a better mom because I see him being a great dad to our son. I love my boys. I am grateful.